7 Questions with Melaina Williams

Hey, Ravishing ones! I am excited to kick off 2021 with the 7 Questions Series featuring writer, vocalist, and actress Melaina Williams.

I’ve watched her blossom since meeting her in 2008. I was a stage manager for a play where she was casted as an angel. Although she was professional, kind, and quiet, she poured her heart onto the stage when it was time to do her scenes, and it is no different today.

The Inglewood-based renaissance woman has released two books, “Bless Your Sweet Bones” and “The Humble Commode: Poems & Prose to Start Your Day,” actively performs her poetry in Los Angeles, and is a fantastic worship leader at our church home, Crenshaw Christian Center.

The USC alum shared how she built her stage presence, discovered her gifts, and the power of words.

Ravishing Raconteur: Please share with us the moment you decided to become a writer, singer, and actor. Did you quickly recognize that you were talented in all three areas, or did you hone each gift over time? 

Melaina Williams: As a little girl, I was always doing something creative from making my family watch me perform to writing poetry. I used to write in my journals that I wanted to be an “inspirational poet and an entrepreneur.” I have my parents to thank for encouraging my creativity and helping me to hone my gifts by welcoming my at-home performances, placing me in choir, taking me to museums and exposing me to literature that introduced me to Phyllis Wheatley and Maya Angelou; all of it to spark the creative spaces I am present in today. I honed my skills by studying creative writing and theatre in college, intensely researching the work of those artists who inspired me and investing in vocal coaching and other skill building courses. I am still honing each of these skills because you never stop learning or developing your voice. Constant change is happening in you and around you.

Whose In Your Dreams by Melaina Williams

RR: I’ve seen you perform various times over the years – and your performances are powerful. How did you build a strong stage presence? 

MW: I have watched and studied artists and performers who captivate audiences and ask myself, “What are they doing that won’t allow me to turn away or tune out?” The answer would be that they are honest, know their purpose or their goal, know how to tell a story and are tapping into the soul of a thing. So, when I write and perform, I ask myself if all these parts are present. When it’s time to perform, there is a surrender to what I know as the Holy Spirit, to carry me in the work that has been inspired by that same Spirit.

RR: What advice would you give someone who has a body of work but is afraid to share it with the world? 

MW: When it scares you, you have something. You’re saying something, when you are unnerved by what you have created. And if the fear is that maybe people won’t like it, you’re right. Maybe they won’t. And guess, what? Maybe they will. My husband likes to call it “telling stories” and this is the one time where “telling stories” is a complete “no, no.” Don’t make up a story that has not happened. Live the story out. And if it “fails,” you have succeeded at following through with lessons learned for the next creative project.

“Real Music” by Melaina Williams from “Bless Your Sweet Bones”

RR: You write a lot of soul-stirring poems! You have noted Gwendolyn Brooks as your influence in your writing. What was it about her work that makes you want to grab a pen and create? 

MW: Gwendolyn Brooks knows how to take the mundane things of life and make them miraculous. She wakes you up to the marvelousness of the human experience while still keeping the simple and delicateness of that same experience. She intrigued me with her voice and her consistency as a writer. 

RR: From your book, “Bless Your Sweet Bones,” inspired by your late grandmother, Jewel Hines, you wrote something powerful that I’d like for you to explain: “We are composed of our mothers and grandmothers and teachers and girlfriends and boyfriends and mentors and enemies’ words. I guess that’s why it’s so important we be aware of the words we allow to stay in our hearts and minds. Sooner or later, they start to define us.”

MW: Words are powerful. They have life. When words are spoken to you or by you, they can create excitement, fear, inspiration and so much more. Throughout writing “Bless Your Sweet Bones,” I reminisced on the great words of affirmation I received from family and friends; words that encouraged me and kept me going. I also remember the words that cut but because I had a strong foundation of affirming words from those who I respected, I was able to dismiss the words that would only create doubt and stop me from creating or moving forward. There is a big difference between constructive criticism and negative words. Constructive criticism is my friend even when she annoys me because she’s making me better, helping me to edit, erasing the ego. Negative words cause self-doubt and can become a block for creativity. Words are so important and I have learn to guard which words get to stay because they indeed define you and your future.

“Nappy Gratitude” by Melaina Williams

RR: I listened to the Savvy Creative podcast, where you said a lot of your writing happens on the commode, which inspired your first book, “The Humble Commode.” LOL. What does your writing process look like today as a wife and mom? 

MW: My writing process as a mother and a wife is definitely different. I was writing every morning like clock work. I also was quite tough on myself about it. Now, I am writing but with a lot more grace for myself. I set a goal to write every morning but if my daughter decides that it will be playtime, I set it aside until the end of the day. Or sometimes the next day. And that is okay. Because wellness, especially during a pandemic and increased social unrest, grace for yourself is one of the best things you can do to find mental, emotional and spiritual peace. I remember when the BLM demonstrations began for George Floyd, there was such a pain that I was needing to feel and pressure to write something, to say something but some of that felt like social pressure. “If I don’t say something now, then people will think I am not supporting the movement.” “Everyone else is saying something, I need to say something.” I’ve learned that saying something or writing something out of expectation has no soul. It’s people pleasing. I make sure my writing is solely because I have something to say. When I did write, it was honest, in my voice and said something people connected to. The writing process for me is being intentionally present and ready to write and not write. Whatever the moment calls for.

RR: You’ve published all of your projects independently. What are the key steps one must take to publish independently?

MW: My first book, “Bless Your Sweet Bones” was published by World Stage Press. My second book, The Humble Commode” was a chapbook (self-published).

Interestingly, “The Humble Commode” was published as a chapbook after I had my first book published, which usually isn’t the writing timeline, but I found that I wanted to get thoughts out quickly about “letting go.” I wasn’t interested in shopping the book more than I was about sharing work and creating a healing experience. So, the chapbook in itself was a symbol of “letting go” and releasing the pressures of life. There was a great joy and feeling of accomplishment to create each book by hand. Every fold, staple, choice of font, design on the page was created by me. It was a special experience, and I am glad I chose to do it.

I am not fully versed in the self-published world but so I don’t have any real key steps. The steps I took for my chapbook was building the work. Designing using design sites like Canva. Funds to print or pay for printing. There are sites that can make this way easier than the process I took. Writers really have many avenues to getting read.

RR: Bonus question: What upcoming projects are you working on that you’d like to share with us?

MW: I am working on finalizing the edits on my two act play for production. I am also interested in writing a creative work about womanhood and motherhood. And maybe get some time to travel and write in the near future.

“Bloom” by Melaina Williams from “Bless Your Sweet Bones”

Learn more about Melaina on her Instagram page: @melainawilliams. You can purchase her books on Amazon.com and WorldStagePress.org.

If you or someone you know wants to be featured on Ravishing Raconteur, please email me at nicole@ravishingraconteur.com.

7 Questions with Comedian Carol J. Castillo

Let us get you acquainted with Ravishing Raconteur’s 7 Questions series, where we conduct Q&A style interviews with Authors, Comedians, Poets, Rappers, and Screenwriters. Our first guest: Carol J. Castillo, aka Your Favorite Grandmother, a New York-based actress, and comedian who you may recognize from HBO’s Ballers, Housewives of New York, and Housewives of Beverly Hills! 

We at RR have a soft spot for comedians. They are creatives who package their vulnerabilities into funny bite-sized moments. Honestly, that’s the hardest job ever. But she shares that her method for creating material is not that difficult. Castillo says, “if it makes me laugh or provokes a thought, I share it.” 

We are led to believe that Castillo’s life never has a dull moment. Not only is she a comedian writer and producer, but she also owns and operates a mobile beauty business, and is a sex coach! Indulge in her advice on comedy, sex, and life:

Ravishing Raconteur: You have hundreds of funny memes. How much of it is original content vs. repost?

Carol J. Castillo: 90% of my posts are DEFINITELY reposts. 

RR: Describe your writing process. How do you come up with memes and stand up material? 

CJC: My process is simple if it makes me laugh or provokes a thought, I share it. Nothing is off-limits. In my stand up, I share my true stories about dating, my sex life, being a young grandma, and smoking weed. Smoking weed was one of my biggest secrets, and so coming out on stage was a BIG deal for me.

I remember my set at Carolina’s Comedy Club in Time Square. My son was in the audience, and before going on stage, I panicked knowing him along with my family, which included my uncle, who’s a dad to me, would now know my big secret. That’s our job as comedians to laugh at ourselves and share our truth. They still love me, and life went on. Most freeing moment to date. 

RR: When did you realize that you wanted to be a comedian?

CJC: In my early 20’s, I realized I had a gift of taking serious situations and finding the funny in them. It was something I naturally used for myself (at times not fully aware I was doing this) to get through hard times in my life.

In 2016 I FINALLY decided to give it a try, so I took comedy classes, and the rest is history. Being much older helped because I have stories for days between dating and being a grandma.

RR: Based on your Instagram page, you don’t shy away from the topic of sex. When did you decide to take the limits off and openly discuss sexual topics that most people only think about or keep behind closed doors?

CJC: Growing up in a Latin family, we didn’t discuss sex at all. I became a teenage mom at 17 years old and didn’t have my first conversation about sex until I was 27!!!! This bugged me out, and in that moment I decided that I had to make the topic mainstream so that other young ladies and ALL woman could see that someone that looks like me/us could not only talk about sex, but could also admit that we LOVE SEX! That’s why I decided to become a Sex Coach. Our bodies know what to do once in the bedroom. What we fail to realize is that GREAT sex happens outside the bedroom and WITHIN ourselves. Many people are raised to believe sex is awful due to many factors like religion, etc. Through my journey, finding out women were in their late 20’s and beyond are living without ever reaching climate terrified me, so I had to take action to change this immediately.

RR: Out of all your careers, what gratifies you the most, and why?

CJC: Everything I do is with the intention to help shift people’s perspective. Those tiny shifts can be life-changing; however, the most gratifying part of my career comes from my mobile beauty & spa business @CSpaByCarolJCastillo for over 15 years I have been working with terminally ill clients and seniors citizens.

85% of the time I am gifted by family and friends to provide manicures, pedicures. Sounds simple; however, these clients cannot leave their homes, hospitals, or rehab centers. I come in and for 2 or 3 hours pamper them in the comfort of their space… It’s definitely God’s work because I haven’t been sick in YEARS… If I get sick, I cannot comfort my clients… There have been moments when I am literally in bed with them doing their nails or massage. It’s something so personal that I am truly humbled each time that I have been chosen to bring a moment of humanity and beauty during such hard times. I will forever be grateful to have been assigned this very very special assignment here on earth. There are no limits as to where I will travel to pamper a client in need. My senior clients are also so dear and wise to me… They always share the wisdom that would take a lifetime to learn. For my seniors, I offer baths, grooming, massages in bed (as we age our bodies are fragile, and the massage tables are just not comfortable), make meals, watch movies, go-to dinners, etc. My friends make fun of me for always wearing black and leggings, now they will know my secret as to why 🙂 

RR: What upcoming projects are you working on?

CJC: The one project I am always working on is MYSELF. Many many years ago, I made a choice to surrender to God’s plans for my life… 

Nothing I have shared did I plan or seek out. Our job is to SHOW UP just by showing up; you allow your true calling and destiny to unfold. People laugh, saying I do it ALL, and I laugh back, thinking, God knows that without a testimony, we cannot be the light at the end of the tunnel for anyone. With that said, I’m making sure I am aligned within and always keeping it real … Together we will all see what God has in store. I’m just as excited to find out.

RR: Any tips for upcoming stand-up comedians?

CJC: People love REAL people & transparency. The moment I decided to become a comedian, I stopped watching comedy because I found myself wanting to tell their jokes. Which is illegal BTW … I started to carry a notebook and jot down funny things I said, experienced or witnessed.

To date, I haven’t been boo’d, which brings me to my next point … YOU WILL BE BOO’D, and it’s OK. My day is coming, and you know what this too shall pass. Everyone will confess how they also want to be a comedian and actually criticize you because without having done it they know what you should do. LOL

The best thing I read that helped me so much was said by Chris Rock, He said, “When my car would breakdown on the highway I would get out and wave for help. No one would stop… Until one day, I decided to push my car, and people actually stopped got out of their cars to help me push mine.” The lesson here is you have to do the work, and the success will follow. Remember, your journey and destination cannot be compared to anyone else. Take a comedy class and go bring laughter to this world. WE NEED YOU! 

Get updates on Carol here:

instagram.com/caroljcastillo

instagram.com/cspabycaroljcastillo

If you’d like to be featured in 7 Questions, please email me at nicole@ravishingraconteur.com.