During the holidays, I got a chance to unwind and read Akilah Hughes’ delightfully amusing book, “Obviously: Stories from My Timeline.”
Borrowing the blueprint from other funny ladies, like Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, and Aisha Tyler, she released a series of essays on her life from adolescence to adulthood. Though the first few chapters of the book are dark and heavy at times, Hughes always knows how to throw in a joke in just the right places to lighten the mood.
The first time I ever saw Hughes was on YouTube in 2013, in the video, “Meet Your First Black Girlfriend.” Set from the boyfriend’s point of view, she lists a litany of dos and don’ts in their interracial relationship. I believe YouTube’s algorithm served it to my feed because it saw my endless search of the perfect wash-and-go video for 4C hair after my first big chop, and Hughes just so happens to be rocking her fluffy natural curls for this sketch. I digress. The video is witty, lighthearted, and relatable; I immediately subscribed.
I followed her throughout the years, admiring her growth and accomplishments – hint: HBO. Crooked Media. Comedy Central. Sundance Fellow. And she started getting slashes between her job titles: YouTuber/Stand-Up Comedian/Actress/Writer! Yup, Wowza! So when I saw that Hughes released a book, I had to read her memoir. But as they say, what you see on social media is entirely different from what one experiences in real life.
I found the book to be refreshingly candid like a funny ass homegirl after a few drinks at happy hour. I was pleased to learn that behind the snappy one-liners, accolades, and accomplishments lie a woman who questions life and is on a constant search to make it better.
Her book spans from being raised in Florence, Kentucky, and hustling her way through New York, New York. There are so many laugh-out-loud moments like her third grade ‘Roid rage incident that ended with her cursing out a bully-classmate; her precious mother, who always finds humor in the most serious situations. As she said, “worse shit happens;” Oh, and why she hates Akeelah & Bee due to her own experience with a spill on spelling – and the shared name, obviously.
With the comical moments, there are disheartening moments like her first run-in with blatant racism in fifth grade, the culprit, her teacher! Also, Hughes described the insanely unhealthy relationship she had with her now-deceased father, who she discovered had other kids besides her and her sister. I found her chapter on friendship very relatable as we’ve all had a good frenemy or two in our lives. There is more, but I can’t tell you all!
What I found most valuable was her perspective on being black in the YouTube space and Hollywood. The intricacies of finding her identity, gaining confidence, and embracing herself are all part of her success.
If you’re looking for a good laugh and book that taps into what life is like getting into Hollywood or at least getting social media famous, this book is a read for you.
There is good in the hood ya’ll! Issa Rae opened up shop, a coffee shop that is, in Inglewood, Ca.
Hilltop Coffee + Kitchen, located at 170 N. La Brea (and a second location at 4427 W. Slauson Avenue), is a place where writers and creators can work, eat, and play.
Partnering with L.A. natives, Ajay Relan and Yonnie Hagos for this venture, Rae calls it a “safe space for writers.”
She said, “I’ve always wanted a coffee shop in my neighborhood…Coffee shops facilitate productivity in so many ways, they facilitate collaboration. And I personally have done all of my writing in coffee shops. So, it always disappointed me that there weren’t any that were Black-owned or people of color owned in my neighborhood…”
Besides a creative mind, I admire entrepreneurship, and this is entrepreneurship at its finest! I will definitely visit for a cup of joe! Get details at www.findyourhilltop.com
Let us get you acquainted with Ravishing Raconteur’s 7 Questions series, where we conduct Q&A style interviews with Authors, Comedians, Poets, Rappers, and Screenwriters. Our first guest: Carol J. Castillo, aka Your Favorite Grandmother, a New York-based actress, and comedian who you may recognize from HBO’s Ballers, Housewives of New York, and Housewives of Beverly Hills!
We at RR have a soft spot for comedians. They are creatives who package their vulnerabilities into funny bite-sized moments. Honestly, that’s the hardest job ever. But she shares that her method for creating material is not that difficult. Castillo says, “if it makes me laugh or provokes a thought, I share it.”
We are led to believe that Castillo’s life never has a dull moment. Not only is she a comedian writer and producer, but she also owns and operates a mobile beauty business, and is a sex coach! Indulge in her advice on comedy, sex, and life:
Ravishing Raconteur: You have hundreds of funny memes. How much of it is original content vs. repost?
Carol J. Castillo: 90% of my posts are DEFINITELY reposts.
RR: Describe your writing process. How do you come up with memes and stand up material?
CJC: My process is simple if it makes me laugh or provokes a thought, I share it. Nothing is off-limits. In my stand up, I share my true stories about dating, my sex life, being a young grandma, and smoking weed. Smoking weed was one of my biggest secrets, and so coming out on stage was a BIG deal for me.
I remember my set at Carolina’s Comedy Club in Time Square. My son was in the audience, and before going on stage, I panicked knowing him along with my family, which included my uncle, who’s a dad to me, would now know my big secret. That’s our job as comedians to laugh at ourselves and share our truth. They still love me, and life went on. Most freeing moment to date.
RR: When did you realize that you wanted to be a comedian?
CJC: In my early 20’s, I realized I had a gift of taking serious situations and finding the funny in them. It was something I naturally used for myself (at times not fully aware I was doing this) to get through hard times in my life.
In 2016 I FINALLY decided to give it a try, so I took comedy classes, and the rest is history. Being much older helped because I have stories for days between dating and being a grandma.
RR: Based on your Instagram page, you don’t shy away from the topic of sex. When did you decide to take the limits off and openly discuss sexual topics that most people only think about or keep behind closed doors?
CJC: Growing up in a Latin family, we didn’t discuss sex at all. I became a teenage mom at 17 years old and didn’t have my first conversation about sex until I was 27!!!! This bugged me out, and in that moment I decided that I had to make the topic mainstream so that other young ladies and ALL woman could see that someone that looks like me/us could not only talk about sex, but could also admit that we LOVE SEX! That’s why I decided to become a Sex Coach. Our bodies know what to do once in the bedroom. What we fail to realize is that GREAT sex happens outside the bedroom and WITHIN ourselves. Many people are raised to believe sex is awful due to many factors like religion, etc. Through my journey, finding out women were in their late 20’s and beyond are living without ever reaching climate terrified me, so I had to take action to change this immediately.
RR: Out of all your careers, what gratifies you the most, and why?
CJC: Everything I do is with the intention to help shift people’s perspective. Those tiny shifts can be life-changing; however, the most gratifying part of my career comes from my mobile beauty & spa business @CSpaByCarolJCastillo for over 15 years I have been working with terminally ill clients and seniors citizens.
85% of the time I am gifted by family and friends to provide manicures, pedicures. Sounds simple; however, these clients cannot leave their homes, hospitals, or rehab centers. I come in and for 2 or 3 hours pamper them in the comfort of their space… It’s definitely God’s work because I haven’t been sick in YEARS… If I get sick, I cannot comfort my clients… There have been moments when I am literally in bed with them doing their nails or massage. It’s something so personal that I am truly humbled each time that I have been chosen to bring a moment of humanity and beauty during such hard times. I will forever be grateful to have been assigned this very very special assignment here on earth. There are no limits as to where I will travel to pamper a client in need. My senior clients are also so dear and wise to me… They always share the wisdom that would take a lifetime to learn. For my seniors, I offer baths, grooming, massages in bed (as we age our bodies are fragile, and the massage tables are just not comfortable), make meals, watch movies, go-to dinners, etc. My friends make fun of me for always wearing black and leggings, now they will know my secret as to why 🙂
RR: What upcoming projects are you working on?
CJC: The one project I am always working on is MYSELF. Many many years ago, I made a choice to surrender to God’s plans for my life…
Nothing I have shared did I plan or seek out. Our job is to SHOW UP just by showing up; you allow your true calling and destiny to unfold. People laugh, saying I do it ALL, and I laugh back, thinking, God knows that without a testimony, we cannot be the light at the end of the tunnel for anyone. With that said, I’m making sure I am aligned within and always keeping it real … Together we will all see what God has in store. I’m just as excited to find out.
RR: Any tips for upcoming stand-up comedians?
CJC: People love REAL people & transparency. The moment I decided to become a comedian, I stopped watching comedy because I found myself wanting to tell their jokes. Which is illegal BTW … I started to carry a notebook and jot down funny things I said, experienced or witnessed.
To date, I haven’t been boo’d, which brings me to my next point … YOU WILL BE BOO’D, and it’s OK. My day is coming, and you know what this too shall pass. Everyone will confess how they also want to be a comedian and actually criticize you because without having done it they know what you should do. LOL
The best thing I read that helped me so much was said by Chris Rock, He said, “When my car would breakdown on the highway I would get out and wave for help. No one would stop… Until one day, I decided to push my car, and people actually stopped got out of their cars to help me push mine.” The lesson here is you have to do the work, and the success will follow. Remember, your journey and destination cannot be compared to anyone else. Take a comedy class and go bring laughter to this world. WE NEED YOU!
Get updates on Carol here:
instagram.com/caroljcastillo
instagram.com/cspabycaroljcastillo
If you’d like to be featured in 7 Questions, please email me at nicole@ravishingraconteur.com.
After reading “Queenie,” these questions came to mind: how many of us are looking for love in the wrong places? Is our upbringing or family ties affecting our relationships or lack thereof? The author, Candice Carty-Williams, paints a colorful picture answering those questions through the main character, 25-year-old Queenie Jenkins, in her debut novel.
Pulling me in from the beginning, with a sharp comedic edge, “Queenie,” set in South London, explores gentrification, race, identity, friendships, familial relationships, and ah love! Centered around the complexity of her relationship with her boyfriend, Tom, who basically ghosted her for 90% of the story, Carty-Williams took us on a wild ride of Queenie’s poor choices in men and career pursuits.
Without giving a lot away, I will say this book is a good read. I found myself literally screaming as I read each chapter! Queenie scared me, yet I saw myself in her at the same time. From her Caribbean heritage to her quarter-life crisis, which made the story relatable.
If you have some downtime during the holidays, read this book as an option of leisure. And if you have any book recommendations, contact me at nicole@ravishingraconteur.com.
Hey Ravishing Ones! Nickie, here, founder of the Ravishing Raconteur. Thanks for listening to my first podcast.
Today, I wanted to share a little bit more about me and how my love for writing was conceived.
I started Ravishing Raconteur as a creative outlet to showcase not only my work, but other talented authors, songwriters, rappers, and poets. Every week, I’d like to package my passion and share it with you all. Here at RR, we celebrate the writers. People who are not afraid to have fun and express themselves.
If you’d like to be featured on RR, please contact me at nicole@ravishingraconteur.com.
Barefoot, glowing and eight months expectant, Poet and Singer Melaina Williams, took the stage last Wednesday for her event, God Bless The Child at The World Stage Performance Gallery, nestled in Leimert Park.
Williams shared her written work that reflected the highs and lows of being a woman, wife, and mother. A major lesson that she grasped in her journey is that setbacks are opportunities to learn.
“…Whether it’s careers, relationships, waiting on inspiration – whatever it is that we are waiting on, remember that even in the things that seem to be the letdown, they are not the letdown. They are opportunities for you to learn, opportunities for you to keep going if you trust that, if you believe that. It’s a lot of things that we don’t believe in that doesn’t work for us, but if we believe it, there’s nothing that you will look back and say, ‘I didn’t learn nothing from that.’ You can learn something.”
As writers, our job is to sit and write for hours to meet deadlines. But with the sitting comes the eating, and it’s usually grabbing the quickest and easiest meals or snacks so you can get right back to writing. Here at Ravishing Raconteur, we realize that incorporating a workout regimen and a healthy eating plan is good for our physical and mental health.
We’re always on the lookout for new and exciting workouts, so we were happy to come across @sydneycummings_, our lives have collectively been changed. If you want a damn good workout daily, visit Sydney Cummings YouTube channel. She’s a NASM Certified Personal Trainer and fitness nutrition specialist who gives followers variety, so the workouts are never boring. If you join her “Sydney Squad,” she gives you nutrition tips and more so you can be snaaaaatched all year’ round!
Ravishing Raconteur, correspondent, @natdeneva had the pleasure of meeting Sydney. She got the chance to share with her how many compliments she received on her arm definition since doing her workouts.
We have in-house proof that her workout regimen works.
Ravishing Raconteur had the pleasure of joining singer-songwriter,
Teedra Moses, along with her family, friends, and fans to celebrate the 15th
anniversary of her debut album, Complex Simplicity, at The Resident in Downtown
Los Angeles’ colorful arts district.
Released in 2004, Complex Simplicity received critical acclaim as one of the recommended must-listen R&B-Soul albums of the year. With all the success of the album, Moses didn’t make a dime on the album, only on publishing. 15 years later, this album still resonates with so many music lovers. During her Live Q&A, she shared highlights and intimate thoughts behind the 14-track album. Here’s what she had to say:
Be Your Girl
Moses said this song “sustained” her and didn’t know it would garner so much fanfare. Many DJs have remixed it all over the world. The (Kaytranada Edition is a fan fave.)
Be Your Girl Rex
Fun fact: this song was inspired by a crush she had on rapper Nas. She felt they could relate on two levels: 1. They made great music, and 2: their mothers passed away. The sweet deal out of this is that Nas sampled “Be Your Girl” for his song “One on One”:
You’ll Never Find (A Better Woman)
“He hasn’t found anyone better,” says Moses of ex-boyfriend and father of their twin sons, rapper Ras Kas. Moses continued, “I tried with him and believed in him.” On the spot, she asked one of her sons, who was in attendance, “Has he found a better one?” Her son responded, “Nope.”
Caution
“I was looking in the mirror the whole time when I wrote the lyrics,” said Moses. She revealed that she didn’t feel good about herself at the time, so she went into a character that inspired lyrics such as, “To date me must be hot.”
Rescue Me
“Still waiting on God 15 years later,” said Moses referring to the sultry track, an ode to finding her true love. “Being a single parent can be lonely, “ she said. At that moment in her life, she was busy honing her craft in singing and songwriting and taking care of her twin boys, so she wasn’t in a “position to play.”
Take Me
This track described her romantic relationship at the time. Unfortunately, it fizzled, but one great relationship she has is her friendship with award-winning singer/songwriter/producer Raphael Saadiq who lent his vocals and production to this dreamy track.
She said Saadiq was a significant encouragement in her musical journey by helping her to stay active as an independent artist. He told her that she was “a dope entity on her own.”
For a lifetime
Dedicated to her best friend, who is her stylist. She described her as being beautiful inside and out and wants her to experience the love that she described in the song.
Caught Up
This is the first song that she wrote, arranged, and recorded. After completing that song, she knew that she could continue to craft her songs from start to finish, and own the rights to her work, and make money.
Last Day
This eerily beautiful song was written after her mother’s death. She described this period of her life as “morbid and questioned her morality” and wondered if she were to die today, how she would want to die.
You better tell her/ Outta My Head
She said those are her most aggressive songs on the album.
The energy in those songs exudes her personality.
On tell her, it was about telling her cheating lover to put a drama-filled side chick in her place. But Moses reiterated, “That if you need to have that kind of conversation with your man, you don’t need to be in that relationship.”
Complex Simplicity
Written and recorded after her mother passed away, Moses described this track as her “liberation song.” She said, “Life is not easy. We are all suffering through something; it’s just how you do it.”
I think of you (Shirley song)
This track is special to her because it featured her mom singing a gospel song “Bye and Bye (This Old Soul of Mine) by Marie Knight.” Moses sang this song live but became very emotional. Moses stated, “this why I never sing this song.” It’s so sentimental that it was hard to perform while on tour.
Backstroke
This track is one of her highly requested songs – internationally, nationally. Second after Be Your Girl.
Moses ended the event by sharing that she is happy, Even without the glitz, glamour, and advertisement. She encouraged the crowd to go for their purpose even if it looks like nothing is happening.
Complex Simplicity will be re-released on September 27th.
#Storytime: So, this week, I barely got any sleep (I literally had to drag myself to work every day). During those sleepless nights, I thought about my life – where it is now, where it could be and all that I have NOT accomplished. I cried, I was angry, I thought about the could ‘ves, would ‘ves, and should ‘ves, but you know what I realized? I made myself feel worse by thinking about the worst! So each night I got up and wrote down my goals. From lofty to silly, I put it all on paper, and guess what? Re-launching this platform, Ravishing Raconteur was one of them.
What is Ravishing Raconteur?
Ravishing (adj.): extremely beautiful or attractive; enchanting; entrancing.
Raconteur (noun): a person who is skilled in relating stories and anecdotes interestingly.
Ravishing Raconteur uniquely offers entertainment through storytelling. What if you got a chance to learn about exciting people worldwide, from all walks of life in the first person? That’s what Ravishing Raconteur will offer. RR listeners will experience a day-in-the-life of someone who is not afraid to share their story about their life.
My goal is to motivate others (including myself) all while helping to restore kindness, love, joy, and unity in some way. This world is crazy, and I want to give you a reason to smile. Stories will be shared through poetry, essays, short stories, songs, etc. This is meant for people to learn about different walks of life with a mix of entertainment, arts, and lifestyle features.
So, in my eyes, everyone is a Ravishing Raconteur, and I am excited to record and share stories with you. I am going to start off posting monthly and then eventually work my way up to weekly.
Ravishing Raconteur 